Articles Posted in Legal Humor

St. Petersburg police say a woman stabbed a man after an argument over which TV program to watch Monday night.According to the police department, Delois Holley went to David Richard Marion’s apartment to watch The Closer, but he wanted to watch Monday Night Football. In retrospect, I would have killed to not have watched my beloved New York Jets get run by the New England Patriots.They then got into argument over money and Marion told her to leave his apartment. Police said Holley then stabbed Marion multiple times before going back to her apartment, where she was arrested for Attempted Second Degree Murder. She is currently being held in the Pinellas County Jail on a $75,000 bond.

Marion was taken to Bayfront Medical Center as a trauma alert
The incident took place at the Arlington Apartments.

According to an online St. Pete Times story, Clearwater Police Department (CWPD) detectives seized more than eighty (80) computerized gaming machines and a new car last week after executing a search warrant at what authorities called an illegal gambling operation on U.S. Highway 19 North in Clearwater.

The search and seizure happened around 5:00 p.m. Friday at the Rio Arcade, located at 19042 U.S. Highway 19 North. Clearwater detectives began investigating the business after receiving complaints of illegal gambling. A quick look at the Rio Arcade’s website (hyperlinked above) gives the impression that this was more of a casino than an arcade.Detectives believe the establishment was operating an illegal gambling business with approximately eighty-four (84) gambling computers. During execution of their search warrant on Friday, they seized the computers, $10,000 in cash, a 2011 Hyundai and other electronic equipment.

No arrests have been made, but the Clearwater Police Department has forwarded criminal charges against the owner and several managers to the Pinellas-Pasco State Attorney’s Office, which will determine whether to prosecute. Continue reading

According to a story in the St. Pete TimesBizarre Florida” online section, a Pasco woman arrived home at 1:00 a.m. Wednesday to find a strange man naked, bloody and passed out on her sofa.

Vickie Bankowski, 56, slipped outside with one of her dogs and called 911. A second dog is still missing.

Justin Barker, 21, of Hudson was arrested and charged with two (2) counts of Residential Burglary for entering two (2) different homes.Barker says he had consumed the caffeinated alcoholic drink “Four Loko.” Officers say he also smashed through the sliding glass door of a 70-year-old woman’s home.For another interesting story on the effects of “Four Loko,” please check out the Tampa Bay Criminal Defense Lawyer Blog‘s August 3, 2010 posting entitled: “ST. PETE: Malt Beverage, Four Loko, Under Radar After Recent Traffic Fatalities

According to an online story in today’s St. Pete Times, a Spring Hill man was arrested Saturday after workers at a grocery store reported seeing him stuff steaks down his shorts and leave the store.Mark Belkola, 51, was at the Publix at 4158 Mariner Boulevard when he was seen in the meat department shoving six (6) packs of steaks down his pants, then walking to the front of the store, according to a Hernando County Sheriff’s Office report.A store employee confronted Belkola after he left the store, but he ran to the parking lot and tried to get into his vehicle, the report states. A customer helped detain Belkola until authorities responded.

Belkola admitted to deputies that he had also taken a bottle of Vaseline and a bottle of pomegranate juice, both of which were found in his shorts. The total value of the merchandise was $75.66.

Belkola told deputies, “I’m starving, I’m starving, that is why I took the steaks,” the report states.He was arrested on a charge of Retail Theft.
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As I was scanning BayNews9.com for a good criminal law article to blog about, I came across the following story in their “Strange News” column:

A Pennsylvania woman is accused of illegally accepting workers’ compensation payments while working as a stripper.

Forty-three (43) year-old Christina Gamble waived a preliminary hearing scheduled for Tuesday in Pennsylvania State Court and will go to Trial next month.Prosecutors say the Quakertown woman claimed she hurt her back at her waitressing job and couldn’t work. A judge granted her $360 per week in benefits in October 2008.

But private investigators working for the restaurant’s insurance company say they taped her dancing at C.R. Fanny’s Gentlemen’s Club and Sports Bar in Wilson later that yearGamble is charged with two (2) counts of Workers’ Compensation Fraud and one (1) count of Theft.
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Sometimes, in my never-ending quest for a good story to blog about, you run across something that is just too good to make up. Usually, these types of stories occur in Pasco County. This one (below) is no different. Enjoy, courtesy of today’s St. Pete Times.A New Port Richey man was arrested Friday by the Pasco County Sheriff’s Office after deputies said he called 911 multiple times to complain about his mother.

Did she hit him?

No.

Did she stab him?

No.

Did she shoot him?

No.

OK. I give up. What did she do?

She took his beer away.Charles Dennison, 32, who was “very intoxicated,” told a deputy who went to their home at 1739 Dennison Road, in New Port Richey, that he wanted his mother arrested for taking his beer (otherwise known as Petit Theft), according to a Pasco County Sheriff’s Office arrest report.And If she wasn’t charged, he said, he would continue to call 911.

A deputy charged him with Making False 911 Calls and took him to the Pasco County Jail in Land O’Lakes, where he remained Monday morning. His Bond/Bail is a lowly $150.00. Continue reading

According to a humorous story in today’s St. Petersburg Times, a St. Pete resident, who was arrested on charges of Felony Battery and DUI early Friday morning, made the following last-ditch offer to the cops on his way to the Pinellas County Jail (otherwise known as the “Sheriff Coats Motel”):

He would give the arresting officer $300 to let the whole thing slide? According to St. Petersburg Police Department, Philip Charles Wood’s “offer” was not only rejected, but earned him an additional Felony charge of Bribery.According to police, Wood was first accused of Assaulting a man about 3:00 a.m. at 233 Central Avenue in downtown St. Pete. After that, officers noticed Wood driving by the scene of the assault and pulled his vehicle over.

The victim of the assault later identified Wood. Officers also determined that Wood was Driving Under the Influence, according to his arrest report. Wood, however, refused to take a breath test or do field sobriety exercises (what’s known in the business as a “double refusal”).

Following his refusal to submit to FSE’s or a breath test, Wood was placed under arrest for DUI. Later that morning, around 4:40 a.m., as a transport officer drove him to the Pinellas County Jail (PCJ), Wood offered a $300 bribe to let him go and “drop the charges.”Let’s just say, in a nutshell, that did not work!

In the State of Florida, law enforcement agencies can charge suspects for the time their officers spend investigating them. This is usually done at Sentencing when the State Attorney’s Office requests “Investigative Costs” as part of an individual’s sentence.

According to Wood’s arrest report, two (2) St. Petersburg Police Department officers spent five (5) hours total on his case at their standard rate of $25 an hour, for a total of $125. Apparently, in Wood’s intoxicated condition, he used this amount to calculate the amount of his alleged bribe.

“[The] Defendant stated that I would only be getting $125 for Investigative Costs anyways,” the officer wrote in a report, “so he would make it $300.”

According to the St. Pete Times, Wood should have saved his money. If convicted, he’ll be responsible for paying that $125 in Investigative Costs, as well as the standard Fines and Court Costs that will be assessed in court.

Assuming this is Wood’s first DUI, he’ll be looking at over $1,000 in Fines and Costs (not including the price of an attorney, DUI School, an Alcohol Evaluation and any recommended follow up treatment, “cost of supervision” which will be payable for Probation, etc.). As I commonly tell many of my “first time” DUI offenders, “a first time DUI is a $5,000 cab ride” by the time you pay for your attorney and all of the above-listed fees, fines and costs.

A quick look at Wood’s address on his Arrest Report shows that he lives in northeast St. Pete (which, on average, is a $20-25 cab ride). Unfortunately, as we see way too often, alcohol consumption frequently leads to poor decision making.

Wood was being held in the Pinellas County Jail Friday afternoon in lieu of a $15,250 Bond. Making matters worse, Wood was already out on Bond on Burglary charges when he was arrested. Therefore, it can be expected that the Judge and/or the State Attorney’s Office (SAO) will move to “revoke” his previously posted Bond for violating the terms of his Pretrial Release. Continue reading

Sara Lou Kenny, 20, of New Port Richey, needed some clean urine to pass a drug test so, authorities say, she tried to smuggle the urine from her friend’s 4-year-old son past a probation officer and pass it off as her own.It didn’t work!!!

Kenney was arrested Friday at a substance abuse program office on Little Road in New Port Richey, according to the St. Pete Times.

Her friend and roommate, 26-year-old Amber Tobeck, was also arrested at the same office for giving her son’s urine to Kenny, according to the Pasco County Sheriff’s Office.Both women are on Felony Probation – Kenny for Drug Offenses and Tobeck for Fraud and Theft convictions – according to the Florida Department of Corrections. Kenny’s two-year drug court probation sentence began Feb. 1st. An arrest report said Kenny had methadone that was not prescribed to her.

Kenny and Tobeck are being held without Bond at the Pasco County jail on charges of Violating their Probations. Kenny is unemployed. Tobeck told authorities she is a waitress at the Cracker Barrel restaurant in New Port Richey. Gotta love their chicken-n-dumplings!
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Sometimes, good police work requires that you get down and dirty.

Earlier this week, in Weymouth, Massachusetts, Rene Valencia, a 24-year-old entrepreneur (i.e., “drug dealer”) charged with Attempting to Sell Heroin and Cocaine near Weston Park allegedly swallowed his drugs rather than face the consequences of getting caught red-handed. However, the police in this small northeastern town (known for being the home of the world’s busiest Dunkin’ Donuts) one-up’d the hungry suspect when they obtained a Search Warrant for his bowel movements!! How’s that taste, Mr. Valencia?”He did not think that the detectives would go through the difficulty of getting a search warrant to retrieve the drugs from his bowel movement,” Lt. Rick Fuller said on Feb. 3. “He was wrong.”

Fuller said that detectives recovered seven (7) bags of heroin, eleven (11) bags of cocaine, and two (2) bags of crack cocaine from Rene Valencia, following a surveillance operation on Washington Street in Weymouth.Valencia was arraigned in Quincy District Court on Feb. 3rd for Possession of Heroin with Intent to Sell, Possession of Cocaine with Intent to Sell, Conspiracy to Violate Massachusett’s drug laws, and committing drug violations near a park.

According to Lt. Fuller, Valencia arrived near Weston Park to sell the drugs at 11:50 a.m., when undercover detectives approached him. “Upon approaching his vehicle, the suspected drug dealer began swallowing several small bags of drugs,” Fuller said.

Detectives arrested Valencia and took him to South Shore Hospital where the drug contents were recovered.

Valencia later told the detectives that he has swallowed drugs on many occasions when pulled over by the police. According to police, this case shows the extent that drug dealers will go to not get caught. It also shows the extent that creative police officers will go to in order to make a case against them.
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In another “only in St. Pete type of case,” the St. Petersburg Police Department said that a St. Petersburg woman took a TV dispute too far Tuesday night when she stabbed and scalded her boyfriend over American Idol. According to the St. Pete Times, this is what happened:

Police arrested Cynthia E. Bettis-Ware, 52, on a charge of First-Degree Attempted Murder of her boyfriend Kevin Johnson, 47.It happened at 11:22 p.m. at the infamous Empress Motel, 1501 Martin Luther King St. N, which the couple listed as their “permanent address,” said police spokeswoman Jennifer Dawkins.

The couple were watching American Idol when they began arguing over something that happened on the show, Dawkins said. He changed the channel to stop the argument, Dawkins said, but she kept arguing so “he decided, ‘Well, I’ll go to bed.”’

He awoke to Bettis-Ware wielding a 10-inch butcher knife. She stabbed him five (5) times in the back and two (2) times in the chest, an arrest affidavit states. Police said she also severely burned Johnson with hot cocoa.Johnson took the knife from her and ran to the motel parking lot, Dawkins said. Bettis-Ware chased after him with another knife, she said.

Soon a crowd formed and someone called police, who arrested Bettis-Ware in her motel room. She was being held without bail in the Pinellas County jail Wednesday.

According to a report on BayNews9, Johnson is still in the hospital with non life-threatening injuries Continue reading

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