Legal Humor

December 21, 2009

MIAMI: Cab Driver Stiffed on $3,000 Fare from Miami to Memphis

A South Florida cab driver was tricked into making a 20-hour trip from Miami, Florida to Western Tennessee over the weekend. And he ended up getting stiffed, not getting a penny for his efforts, according to CBS4’s Stephen Stock.From 7:00 at night until 4:30 in the morning, 6 days a week, for 29 years, Jean Desir has driven a taxi on the streets of Miami.

Despite two Robberies, one at gunpoint, and countless riders who’ve stiffed him on fares, this past year has been toughest of all economically.

“This year has been really really hard,” the 54 year-old said, “really hard.”

That’s what makes the story of Desir’s fellow taxi-driver so tough to swallow this holiday season.

Police say Miami resident Luciolo Perez convinced a cabbie from Flamingo Taxis to drive him to Memphis, Tennessee. That’s a 20-hour cab ride to the middle of the country.Then police say Perez stiffed the driver of $3,000 in cab fare, plus expenses such as gas and meals, which the cabbie paid with his own credit card.

CBS4 spoke by phone with the cab driver, who drove his taxi halfway across the country and back.

His name is Lelis Almeira.

Almeira refused CBS4‘s request for an on-camera interview, saying he was tired, frustrated and angry and “I just want to put this incident behind me.”

Now, in addition to trying to find $3,000 in cab fare, Perez must find enough money to bond out of jail on his Grand Theft charge.
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December 16, 2009

ST. PETE: Woman Arrested for Domestic Battery by Beer?

by Blake & Dorsten, P.A.

Yes. You read correctly. She was charged with Domestic Battery by beer.

Melva Ann Wixon, 49, was arrested Tuesday night on a Domestic Battery charge after a wet incident at her apartment.

Here’s what the po-po have to say:

Wixon got home about 7:00 p.m. at an apartment she shares with her boyfriend, Eric Hartman. She had been drinking at a bar. He had been sleeping.

She was angry at him because he plans to move to Ohio. So she poured beer on him. This woke him up.

Displeased by her action, Hartman called the police.

Wixon was still at the Pinellas County Jail Wednesday morning awaiting her Advisory/ First Appearance before a Judge.Unfortunately, the brand of beer she wielded was not included in the incident report. Let’s only hope it wasn’t something good like Guinness or Newcastle!!
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November 27, 2009

ST. PETERSBURG: Man Calls 911 to Show Deputies the Marijuana on His Kitchen Table???

by Blake & Dorsten, P.A.

In another addition of: “Only in Florida.” More specifically, “Only in the Tampa Bay area.” This story was featured in this mornings St. Pete Times.

This was probably not the best Thanksgiving for Ronald R. Conkright.His troubles first started when he called 911 at 11:47 p.m. Thursday (Thanksgiving evening). He told the 911 operator: “I’m looking for a friend. It was one last joke.”

Pinellas County sheriff’s deputies showed up at his home at 2504 55th Avenue North, but Conkright, 62, didn’t answer the door.

At 2:26 a.m. Friday, he called 911 again. This time he reported a Domestic Violence dispute with his wife. According to his arrest affidavit, he told the 911 operator: “I hurt my wife and she is in heaven.”

Deputies returned to his home (for a second time now). This time Conkright answered the door. After talking with him, deputies discovered Conkright was not married. They then discovered more.

“When asked what his emergency was, and why he called 911, Conkright brought deputies into his home to look for his wife, and to show us an amount of marijuana, over 20 grams, which was on his kitchen table,” the arrest affidavit states.

Conkright then told the deputies: “You can arrest me now.”

He was charged with Making a False 911 Call, Felony Possession of Marijuana (over 20 grams) and Possession of Drug Paraphernalia.

Not surprisingly, Conkright’s arrest affidavit states that he showed an indication of “drug influence.”
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November 11, 2009

ST. PETE: Charges Dropped Against Both Men in City Council Brawl

by Blake & Dorsten, P.A.

Pinellas County prosecutors have decided to drop charges against two (2) men who got into a humorous fist fight at a St. Petersburg City Council meeting.

Frederick Dudley and Ronald Deaton were arrested in October after they began throwing punches during an argument over a decision to privatize a public sidewalk.

The men, ages 76 and 61, respectively, were charged with Disorderly Conduct.Assistant State Attorney Richard Ripplinger said authorities have “better things to do than prosecute a couple of old men who got angry in the heat of the moment.” In my opinion, while the State of Florida got this one right, we unfortunately see many silly and ridiculous prosecutions in the Tampa Bay area that should be dropped like this one (especially in today’s economic climate with our government working with limited resources).

The decision to cede the public sidewalk fronting the downtown BayWalk entertainment complex had been the subject of intense debate for weeks.

For more information on this story, including a link to the actual video of the infamous fight, please check out this Bay News 9 link.
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November 8, 2009

VIERA, FL: Pot-smoking minister Guilty of Growing it

by Blake & Dorsten, P.A.

A self-proclaimed minister who claimed he smokes marijuana for “religious” and health reasons has been found Guilty of a Felony charge of Manufacturing/Cultivating Marijuana for growing 100 plants.

It took a Brevard County jury only 14 minutes Friday to find 53-year-old Steven Swallick Guilty of the above-mentioned offense. He faces up to 10 years in prison when sentenced next month.Swallick told the Judge outside the jury’s presence that he is affiliated with the “Hawaiian Cannabis Ministries” and that he smokes marijuana and uses it as an ingredient in anointing oil, health drinks and incense to drive away evil spirits. Swallick gets points for originality for his novel, yet unsuccessful defense.

However, Circuit Court Judge Jim Earp ruled that Swallick could not give such testimony to the jury. And, as we’ve now learned, without his “defense” being submitted to the Jury, it took less than fifteen (15) minutes to convict him.
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November 7, 2009

POLK COUNTY: Undercover Detectives Bust Moonshine Operation

by Blake & Dorsten, P.A.

An “anonymous tip” led undercover detectives to a Bartow home, where they found a working moonshine still according to the Polk County Sheriff’s Office.

Detectives searched the house on Thomas Jefferson Circle East in Bartow, where they found the fully-operational still. They seized the still, along with seven jars of moonshine.

The two men who live at the home, 54-year-old Kenneth Wayne Wilkerson and 36-year-old Rockie D. Smith, said they used the still to make moonshine for their own use.”I knew it was illegal but I wasn’t going to sell it. I didn’t see no harm in it,” Wilkerson said. “The moonshine we made – it was good and like I said, I wish you could have tasted some of it.”

Detectives said they also admitted to selling moonshine to their friends and coworkers.Both men were arrested and charged with one (1) count each of Possession of a Moonshine Still, Possession of Moonshine and Conspiracy to violate Florida’s beverage law. All three (3) of these charges are third-degree felonies (each punishable by up to five (5) years in prison).
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October 25, 2009

MN: Man Gets DUI on La-Z-Boy Mobile Chair

by Blake & Dorsten, P.A.

How lazy do you gotta be to get a DUI without ever getting off your La-Z-Boy???The following is courtesy of TMZ.com:

A 61-year-old man named Dennis LeRoy was just sentenced to 180 days in jail after cops say he got wasted at a Minnesota bar last year and tried to drive home on his suped-up piece of living room furniture.

The La-Z-booze-mobile was equipped with a cup-holder, radio, headlight and a National Hot Rod Association sticker. It was powered by a converted lawn-mower.

Cops say on August 31,2008, LeRoy pounded around 8 or 9 beers, left the bar, mounted his chair-mobile — which is capable of speeds up to 20 MPH — and crashed into a “real car” on the way back to his home.

LeRoy was given field sobriety tests … but cops say he “failed everything.”

The La-Z-Boy driver can avoid jail time if he completes two years of supervised probation — which includes completing a chemical dependency program, random testing and 30 days of electronic monitoring.
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October 13, 2009

SEATTLE: Fugitive Brags on Facebook and Gets Busted!!

by Blake & Dorsten, P.A.

One of the first pieces of advice that I give to new clients is to take down any social networking profiles that they may have (if they tend to use these accounts, like Facebook or MySpace, to talk about or post evidence of their criminal activity).

Another recent story out of Seattle reaffirms this advice. To read the complete story, check out this link to the original CBS News.com story.

Maxi Sopo was living the dream of a fugitive abroad, kicking back on the beaches of Cancun during the day and partying in the clubs at night. Then, Maxi Sopo did two (2) things that are NEVER a good idea to do when you are hiding from law enforcement. First, Sopo started posting Facebook messages about how much fun he was having. He then accepted a “Friend Request” from a former Justice Department official.Because of these poor decisions, Maxi Sopo, a 26-year-old native of Cameroon, is now in a Mexico City jail awaiting extradition back to the United States to await his trial on Federal charges of Bank Fraud.

Even in the hold-nothing-back world of social networking, where police search Facebook photos for evidence of underage drinking and watch YouTube videos to identify riot suspects, it’s rare that a fugitive helps authorities this much (see Maxi Sopo’s Facebook profile below).Prosecutors say he masterminded the Bank Fraud scheme with Edward Asatoorians, who was convicted by a Federal jury in Seattle last week. Testimony at trial indicated the pair persuaded young co-conspirators to lie about their income to obtain loans for fabricated auto purchases, and then used the money to prop up Asatoorians’ business and to take an expensive trip to Las Vegas.
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October 3, 2009

DETROIT: Man Sentenced to Two Years in Prison for Stealing Car on First Date

by Blake & Dorsten, P.A.

How do you know when a “first date” has gone really bad?

A Detriot man was sentenced last month to at least two (2) years in state prison for stealing a woman’s car after skipping out on the check during a first date. Terrance McCoy, 24, was sentenced in Oakland County, Michigan to two (2) to ten (10) years in prison for one of the classier moves that I’ve seen in awhile.McCoy pleaded “no contest” on September 18th to Grand Theft Motor Vehicle. As in Florida, a “no contest” plea does not admit guilty, but simply states that you believe it is in your best interest to resolve the case without going to trial.

Police say that McCoy dined with a twenty-seven (27) year-old companion on April 24th in Ferndale, Michigan. The woman told the police that McCoy said he forgot his wallet in her car and needed her keys to retrieve it. After that, McCoy took off in her car.

Defense attorney Terri Antisdale stated that McCoy is a “very nice man who made a bad decision.” Really? Do you think so?
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September 27, 2009

WEST VIRGINIA: Burglar Leaves his Facebook Page on Victim’s Computer

by Blake & Dorsten, P.A.

While Florida certainly has the dumbest criminals in the nation, this guy from West Virginia was pretty darn stupid last week.

Jonathan G. Parker, 19, of Ft. Loudoun, PA, was arrested following an August 28th Burglary where he broke into the victim’s home through a window and stole two diamond rings. While inside, this not-so-bright criminal decided to check his Facebook status. The only problem: Mr. Parker forgot to log out. When the victim returned home and checked her computer, she was greated with a not-so-funny message from her intruder.For the complete story, check out this article from The Journal (Martinsburg, West Virginia).
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